Elton John is a Faithless Thorn

Elton John, this is what I think, you are a faithless thorn! Imagine writing a song, Candle In the Wind, for one person, Norma Jean aka Marilyn Monroe, and then decades later, ever so slightly changing it and dedicating it to a totally different person!!!!

It would be like me dedicating a poem to someone and then later, publicly dedicating it to someone else because I was too insensitive and lazy to write an entirely new one.

As a writer I think its terrible, poor Marilyn! and what assurance does the Princess Diana have that you won't come along and rewrite for yet another soul?

Ugh, ugh, this has been on my chest for so long, had to vent.

I hope I never have to have this argument again with another person ('I like it' they say!)

I Was Made For You - Rivers Cuomo

My song of the day, is I Was Made For You, by Rivers Cuomo, I discovered him through iLike music but had to buy this song as it wasn't one of the free downloads.

He has a lot of good songs but this is the one that has struck a chord with me.

I have progressed to not wishing things will work out with Lenny and instead am mentally preparing to date someone else....

I am sure the happy songs will return to me soon.

The Lenny Music Diet

I met Lenny in January. There was music - cool, relaxing, happy, music. There was She's A Rainbow (the Rolling Stones), I'm Yours (Jason Mraz), You (Wes Young), Whole Wide World (Ben Elys Radio 5), Wohoo/Song 2 (Blur), and more.

There was the music on my MP3 when I took the train to our first date, I particularly remember Mercy (Duffy).

The first time he sent me an email addressed 'Hey Babe' I was singing Aint No Other Man (Christina Aguilera).

I didn't have to worry about what I said to Lenny, you know some guys you have to make sure you don't look clucky around babies, or ogle rings in shop windows. Lenny talked about doing things months ahead in our future, including going camping at Easter, and doing the city to surf fun run together late this year.

Then it was time to tell him that I am bipolar, he seemed fine, we were sitting on a bench by the water, he didn't ask me any questions though which in retrospect is unusual. Most people have questions even if they are shocked or alarmed by the news. We stayed there talking a while longer then it was time for him to take me home so he could drive the long way north to where he lives. When we parted it was just a quick kiss on the cheek, and I didn't think about it until I was out of the car, then I wanted to hop in and give him a proper kiss goodbye.

So he hadn't been gone long when I texted him 'I wish I'd kissed you properly when I had the chance' I thought that might almost make him turn around and come back (mostly that is my experience) but I got a text back saying 'Nevermind' that was it, just the one word.

The next day I texted him to thank him for the fish he had given me, I had cooked it up for the family and after we had all enjoyed it I texted him a quick thanks. No reply. I started to have that little nervous feeling but put it aside.

By Thursday I hadn't had a phone call, a text, or an email (very unusual for us) I thought back to the conversation we had with a really bad feeling. Lots of sad music, and staring at the photo of him on the bench by the water, ironically where things came undone.

Friday was his birthday, I emailed him a special greeting, nothing, and no hint of him making plans around the idea of us going to the Mandurah Crab Fest together.... no thanks for my birthday wishes, and I had made him a card I now looked at with a feeling I would never get the chance to give it to him.

Saturday, Sunday, Monday - the full Bridget Jones-underwear-singing 'All By Myself' and eating donuts-black hole. There may also have been some Toni Braxton 'Never Breathe Again', Ella Fitzgerald 'Someone to Watch Over Me', and 'The Greatest' by Cat Power. But as a measure of my coping I'd like to point out I didn't sing Sinead O'Connor's 'Nothing Compares To You'.

Monday - officially a week of silence, I felt officially desserted now, and Brandi Carlile's 'The Story' was a big hit. Really helps get the pain out that's for sure. Ate nine iced donuts in 24 hours.

Tuesday to Now - new music to mope to including Why Are You Leaving Me Behind (David Hopkins) and Selfish Goodbye (can't remember who now, forgive).

So there you have it, the music and donut diet.

Chase The Light

Song of the Day = Chase the Light by Jimmy Eat World.

Just found this song today, I had gone to a music site to get a copy of Pain by Jimmy Eat World, so what the hey, might as well check out the other songs they have.... quite a few right up my alley by the sounds of things. I also liked Drugs or Me, and Night Drive.

Free iLike music downloads

Oh I am sad again, my favourite guy Lenny seems to be leaving me behind (without a word of goodbye) so hear are the songs I have downloaded from ilike music for free, the ones that soothe me and also help with the small amount of weeping and moping I need to do before I move on.

These are great little ballads if you are in the market for some free emerging artist songs.

The Greatest, by Cat Power

Blackbird Fly Away, by Serena Matthews

In The Air, by Machelli

Koyaanisqatsi, by Chris Moulyneux

Be Who You Are, by Queenie

The Alternate World Waltz, by Lisa DeBenedictis

Truth In The Unseen, by Miasma

The Rose Pipe Set, by TamLyn

Northshore Music Therapist, by The Main Drag

Better, by Sergius Gregory

Lost and Lonely, by Sean Cox

I Will Be Grateful For This Day, by Bright Eyes


You can also get some very obscure but promising music downloads for free from mule music downloads, and I found some of the above artists there, and there are music genres i have not even heard of like 'shoegaze' I have no idea what that is, but it is a great site for finding your own little treasures. If you want to feel like a taste-maker, get ahead of the record store by using free sites like mule music and ilike and feel super cool.